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Are You Chatting or Cheating?

Is what started out as innocent chatting on social media turning into cheating for you or a spouse? Read what to watch for.

The online world of Internet chatting has certainly made it easier to become socially connected to others instantly. Making new “friends” online or reestablishing old friendships with past relationships can happen unexpectedly with the simple click of a mouse.  After all, we’ve probably all had the experience of seeing an old flame on Facebook and wondering if we should add them in our circle of social media friends.

Along with the ease and instant accessibility of making contact with others online, comes the chance that it can quickly develop into something more. You might soon find yourself feeling heart palpitations with every online chat, text message or instant contact with the new individual in your life.

However, the problem is that you are still attached in a committed relationship, engaged, or already married. You might be able to convince yourself that because there is no physical sex involved, you really are not cheating, but simply chatting. Because there is no sex involved it is really just a friendship. Right?

Maybe the answer is a little more complicated than that, in that you might actually be having emotional sex.

Defining Emotional Sex

While emotional sex is not physical sex, it generates the same romantic love that can ultimately manifest into something much more. The friendship can easily turn into something more romantic, lustful, and eventually physical.

Simply defined, emotional sex with a friend creates oxytocin brain chemicals that are released into the body that produces that “in love” feeling. The sensation can become so strong that it feels impossible to ever end the friendship, no matter if it would destroy your existing marriage or committed relationship.

Crossing the Line

A traditional platonic relationship is void of any of the physical, sexual attraction or chemistry with a friend. While there may be love for a friend, there is no sexual attraction, nor will you ever have daydreams or fantasies that involve him or her.

The moment a person experiences that oxytocin brain chemical sensation with a friend, they quickly realize that this is more than just a platonic friendship. At that moment, they have crossed the line into something far more dangerous and harmful to their marriage or committed relationship.

Keeping It Secret

Whether or not your feelings are obvious to the new love interest in your life, or not, your feelings are taking a significant toll on your existing marriage or personal committed relationship. Draining the essential energy from your committed relationship to support the emotional sex you are experiencing with your friend can create exorbitant problems for you. The only way to maintain your newfound love interest is to keep it a secret.

However, sending flirting text messages, spending hours on the Internet chatting and toying with each other’s affections are proof that you have crossed the line and are cheating on your committed relationship partner or spouse.

Society recognizes that it is natural to have these chemical sensations. However, social norms dictate that to be in a committed relationship requires monogamy and devotion to each other. Whenever you are having physical sex or emotional sex with another individual, outside your relationship, you are in fact cheating, and not simply chatting.

If you have any questions, or would like to learn more about our domestic and infidelity investigative services please click here to read more.