You have a sneaking suspicion that something is wrong, but you aren’t sure what, and you can’t find any evidence to support your hunch. You aren’t sure what to do and fear being made a fool of. However, one thing in your favor these days is that, usually, cheaters are using their computers, phones and other devices to do their dirty business. A little peek at their phone records or internet browsing history may reveal a lot of very valuable information. So here is how to get started on your tech investigation.
This may seem basic but it is an easy way to see if something is up. They may be careless enough to leave their call history on their phone, but that is unlikely. However, check out the phone records to see what you can find.
If those two avenues are fruitless, then consider a little bit of spy work. It’s nothing crazy, but be an investigator and start taking note of when they are on the phone around you. Do they talk on the phone often in front of you, or do they typically step outside? Are they on the phone at odd times? For example, when you come downstairs at 6 am for coffee, do you find them at the kitchen table on the phone?… there may be something to worry about.
Vague contact names, initials, names that sound like codes or contacts with only emojis as their names are all suspicious. Also, if Grandma is suddenly coming up every day on his or her phone when they typically only speak every other week or less, then you may want to check to make sure that there is not a mystery number hidden within that “fake out” contact.
Texts and emails are so commonly used these days and so much easier to disguise than a phone call (i.e. your wife could be texting mystery guy over dinner and you would never know), that they are often a preferred method of communication for adulterers. Check the suspected persons emails and texts thoroughly, look for codes or strange messages and keep an eye on their trash bins. A thorough cheater may delete all of their e-mails, but forget to clear out their trash for weeks… or even months.
If your spouse uses visual voicemail, they may just be backed up online.
There are apps that hide and lock away texts, emails and more. For some people, these are necessary for work purposes or otherwise. However, if your spouse has one with no good reason, something sure smells fishy. In addition, you may want to check to make sure that there are no apps hidden nested within folders on their phone. You can do that by searching the entire phone. How you will do that will depend on your phone, but there is usually a way to view every single app installed on that phone.
Don’t just look for the obvious stuff. Sure, you may luck out and find that he or she browsed the lingerie section of a department store or that they purchased flowers that YOU never received. However, there are some more subtle things to consider. Have they been looking into hotels in towns that you have never been to and never plan to go to? Is there search history indicating interests or hobbies that you don’t know them to have? For example, are they suddenly googling tennis tips when you have no knowledge of them ever even playing?
GPS history is easy to check and may reveal some destinations or stops that you aren’t familiar with. For example, did they use their system to drive out of town to a small hole in the wall restaurant in the middle of the week? Did you wonder where they were last Thursday only to find in their GPS that they were at a hotel when you were calling?
Cheating is a terrible thing to do to another person and you don’t deserve it. You do, however, deserve to know the truth. Even if the truth hurts, it is always better than living a lie. A little bit of technological detective work may either ease your mind or ramp up your investigation… there is no way to know… until you jump in and check things out. If you need assistance, a private investigator can help to look into these and many more methods on your behalf.